I get that she’s a simple, down-to-earth person (which i love about her!) but her constantly wishing she wasn’t famous makes me, as a devout fan, soooo sad. I've always had a bit of a dangerous curiosity that was stifled by my upbringing and her music just happened to emerge around the time I entered a new coming of age. I often wonder what my trajectory would have been without her music. I would eventually go to a Lana concert with him and some other old biker looking dude, it was too on the nose lol. Almost every song on Ultraviolence accurately depicts this relationship. I grew deeply attached to him, developed a servile devotion. Never really knew regret until I met him. He lived a party sort of lifestyle and ended up being a lot of my firsts. In my mid 20s, I started seeing someone about twenty years my senior who was. As the queen of sadness in the early 2010s, her music made me feel vindicated in my morose state.
I was also very depressed and felt an emotional communion with her lyrics. I remember thinking I wouldn't have minded and it was somewhat of a thrill. I remember at that time being on a date with a 50 y/o who was driving me out to his isolated plane hangar and I thought "he could just axe murder and dump me somewhere out here". It's difficult to say if her music subconsciously informed me but I started seeing much older men at 21 and Ultraviolence came out when I was 22. I don't like to say her music had a bad influence on me, but it certainly ended up chronicling especially the latter half of my 20s. I started listening to her at 19, almost 11 years ago, around the same time I left religion.
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